Ros Aruna

Translated by Cyntha Hariadi

 

 IG @tupsky

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NAMING SCARS

she did not wish it to disappear, the scar
she acquired at twenty-three
from which a life was born.
she overcame death with twelve stitches.
she marked her victory
by naming the first scar.

a second scar on top of the first,
deeper, longer,
needed more time to heal.
another life was born,
she gave it another name.

on a gurney, she now lies.
her eyes are still open when
a knife is set to carve on her another scar.
while the first two smelled of hope,
this one reeked of death
even before the knife touched the skin.

before she can close her eyes,
she thinks of a name for the third scar.
lying on her left chest,
her third win,
Fauzia:
when again death loses.

 

WHO OWNS THE BREASTS?

she never felt she owned them
those two mounds hanging on her chest
unlike anything else that's hers.

when she was young,
the bounces were such a hindrance.
they had to be contained.
men adored them,
but what were their use for women?
          to feed, they said.
what was left for her then?

then comes the time for removal,
lumps and all.
she was saying farewell to her breasts,
thanking them for their services
of feeding her three children so well.
they were shriveled now,
unrecognizable.

to her, breasts are loaned,
not to be owned.

 

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GREY LIPSTICK

you tease my mouth with a lipstick
"Pick a color
the right one
a mark of decency."

wild free red
mysterious melancholic purple
dark cursed black
flaming happy orange
honey pink
poisonous blue

I pick grey
smear it on your lips

I prefer mine bare
to speak plainly
without a mark from you

 

ASYMMETRICAL BROWS

I painted my brows with a ruler
their thickness, length, curve must be symmetrical
fifteen minutes
not enough

the right brow was too thick like a calloused foot,
       abraded by laundry water
the left brow was too long like a night of overtime,
      endless hours in the office

asymmetrical brows can be perfected
double loads cannot be shared

 

© Ros Aruna

English translation © Cyntha Hariadi


MENAMAI LUKA

dia tidak mau menghilangkan bekas luka di perutnya.
di usia dua puluh tiga ia memperoleh luka itu,
dari situ lahir kehidupan baru.
dua belas jahitan menutup
pertarungannya dengan kematian.
ia merayakan kemenangan dengan
menamai luka pertamanya.

luka kedua di tempat yang sama,
lebih dalam, lebih panjang,
lebih lama menutup dan mengering.
kehidupan yang hadir dari luka kedua
itu juga ia beri nama.

di atas ranjang dorong, ia kini terbaring.
matanya belum terpejam saat menanti
pisau beraksi membentuk luka ketiganya.
berbeda dari dua luka sebelumnya
yang penuh harapan dan kehidupan,
aroma kematian begitu menyengat,
bahkan sebelum luka dibuat.

beberapa saat sebelum matanya terpejam,
ia menyiapkan sebuah nama untuk luka ketiga.
di dada kirinya, luka itu akan bernama Fauzia,
menandakan kemenangan ketiga:
ketika maut kembali dikalahkannya.

 

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SIAPA PEMILIK PAYUDARA?

dia tidak pernah merasa memiliki payudaranya.
dua gundukan yang menggantung di dada
seperti bukan miliknya.

goyangannya hanya mengganggu gerak kala remaja.
dadanya pun harus diikat hingga sesak
untuk menahan keduanya.
hanya laki-laki yang suka melihatnya,
bagi perempuan buat apa?
untuk menyusui, kata mereka.
jadi tetap bukan untuk dirinya?

dan tibalah saat keduanya harus diangkat,
bersama benjolan yang muncul tiba-tiba.
dia harus mengucapkan salam perpisahan pada payudaranya,
mengucapkan terima kasih,
tiga anak sudah boleh menyusu dan mengempesinya.
setelah itu, dia malah makin merasa asing.

payudara adalah bagian tubuh perempuan
yang tidak akan pernah menjadi miliknya.

 

GINCU ABU-ABU

mulutku kauiming-iming gincu
katamu, "pilih warna yang kaumau.
pilih satu warna jitu,
cap bibirmu cermin perilaku."

merah binal merekah
ungu misterius sendu
hitam kutukan kelam
jingga menyala ceria
merah jambu itu madu
biru bisa meracunimu

aku ambil gincu abu-abu
kupulas di bibirmu

kupilih bibir tanpa gincu
leluasa cakapku
tanpa cap darimu

 

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ALIS ASIMETRIS

kulukis alis dengan penggaris.
tebal, panjang, dan lengkungnya harus simetris.
lima belas menit,
tak kunjung apik.

alis kanan terlalu tebal
seperti tumit kaki kapalan
pecah digerus air cucian
alis kiri kelewat panjang
bagai malam lemburan
di kantor tak kunjung pulang

alis asimetris bisa dilukis
beban ganda tak pernah habis

 

© Ros Aruna


 @tupsky

@tupsky

ROS ARUNA (pen name) grew up in a house full of books. In school she spent much time in the library, and in college she studied literature. Her collection of poems Betina Paling Jalang di Dunia is coming out in July 2018. 

cyntha hariadi.jpg

CYNTHA HARIADI is an author of a book of poems (Ibu Mendulang Anak Berlari) and a collection of short stories (Manifesto Flora). She lives in Jakarta.